Ok, I'm a little embarrassed to admit after Rigby just had his second birthday last week that he still uses a soother. I know. (I told you about him being a really sucky baby right?) I think I justify it with the fact that we do a lot of travelling and long hours in the van and sleeping at strange houses are much smoother experiences when there's a soother involved. I suppose yes, in some ways I'm the one that is still attached to it. Porter also had a 'soo-soo' but there was no "weaning" or "training" with that child. When it came to potty training, soother weaning and moving into a big-boy bed I just simply facilitated and stood by and watched as he did those things all on his own. Although it was awesome at the time it's left me quite ill prepared for Rigby. I guess I was hoping that the longer we left it Rigby would just give up his soo-soo on his own like Porter did. Nope. Anyway, reasons he still uses one aside, he does and we've decided that it's time to put an end to it. I have read many ideas online but I'm looking for tried and trusted methods from experienced moms. What has worked with your children, and with children that are really attached... like I'm worried this is going to get ugly. Well, I know it's going to get ugly but it's far past due.
Any suggestions?
We told C that she was getting to be a 'big girl' and that big girls get to have a special day when they say goodbye to their soother and get a new 'lovey'. We wrapped up a new stuffy (for her it was a pink fuzzy pig that she had her eye on at the store) and she opened it up happily and we even wrote her a little letter about being so proud of her - which helped US more than her! Then, we cut the soothers up (it wasn't a scene in front of her, we just did it while she had her new toy to play with). When she asked for her soother we gave her her new big-girl stuffy. It was sad and she missed her soother but she had something new to cuddle with, and we didn't have a soother to dig out of the garbage when she turned on the tears! We expected a rough week and after a few days we had clear sailing!
ReplyDeleteMy friend is a dental hygienist and she said they always tell their patients to snip off a little piece of the soother every few days. After a few snips the soother loses its satisfaction and the kids will give it up on their own within a week or two. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteTyler was WAY too old (3, I think) when I finally bit the bullet. That's why he has a gap in his front teeth. I set the date, then I cut up all his soothers (not in front of him) so it wouldn't be a temptation, and it was NO BIG DEAL to him. I couldn't believe it! It was way harder on me than him, because I didn't want my baby to grow up. I hope it's that easy for you, I've heard horror stories. Just don't have a back-up plan (a soother stashed somewhere) or you'll cave. Or if you don't think cold-turkey is the way to go, just limit it to one time of the day (naps, or something) then after he adjust, work away from that, too. Good luck! It's hard!
ReplyDeleteI think snipping the very tip off or putting some pin pricks in it so they don't suck as well works. I wouldn't throw them away at first- let him still hold it or try to suck. Hopefully once he realizes they don't work anymore he'll be ok with that. Then you can play up the big boy thing if you want and get him a new stuffie or something else to be a lovie. Good luck! And personally I think you're fine...Connor had a girl in grade 1 that still had one- no, I'm not kidding.
ReplyDeleteOh Michelle. I know just what you mean. My girls all(all but Kathryn, she'd never even take one) just gave up their soothers before they were one. Now James is nearing two and he HAS to have it to go to sleep at nap time and bed time. I only let him have it when it's time to go to sleep but I have no idea how I am going to get him to stop...OK that's not entirely true. But like many others have said, it will be pretty hard on ME. I like that I can just put him in his bed with his soother and his favorite blanky and he will be asleep in minutes. I am afraid of what bedtime will be like with out it. And when he doesn't have it he sticks his fingers in his mouth and I already have one thumb sucker I don't need another....AH! I said to Daniel the other day "I am that mom that I always judged before. Just take it away from the kid, how hard can it be?" Apparently a lot harder than I thought.
ReplyDeleteWe had the talk about being big and not needing it anymore....we also replaced with a stuffy, blanket, etc. to help with soothing especially at night. Then we asked our little one to throw it away because we didn't need it anymore. They only asked about it the first night. We gently reminded them that we had thrown it away and it was all gone....snuggled with the blankie and tucked them in. It wasn't mentioned again after that. I have learned with my kids that hard things are all about delivery and the attitude of the parents. if you are stressed and upset they will follow your lead. We always try to be upbeat and relaxed about big events.
ReplyDeleteWith Grady I cut the end off and then he didn't like sucking it anymore. I didn't throw it away though, still left it in his room so he could keep trying it. We kept saying it was "broken" because he could understand that. After about 3 days he threw it away himself. With Eden, she accidentally dropped it in something and we made a big deal out of how "dirty" it was. She couldn't handle things being dirty. We suggested maybe we should throw it away because it was so dirty, and then kept reminding her each time she asked for it. Only a couple of days again, and she didn't even remember it.
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