January 11, 2012

calling moms of children with late birthdays

Yes, I need you moms. I have a question and I want your opinion. My Porter has a very late birthday (you know where this is headed already...) and we have come to that place when it's time to decide whether or not to put him in kindergarten yet. He can go in September at 4, or we can wait until next September when  he will be 5. I know there is not really a right or wrong answer as what is best is very dependant on each individual child, but I would appreciate some feedback on what you have seen with your own kids, or other kids, or what you have decided if you are in the same position right now.

I am somewhat hesitant to ask this because at times it feels when people give their opinion they are sure their way is right, but knowing I will ultimately do what is best for Porter, I would appreciate some feedback.

Thanks moms. :)


  1. hey Michelle! Nate has a December birthday as well. We decided to hold him back, mostly because I would rather he was the oldest child in his grade then the youngest. When he was in Kindergarten there were about 4 other boys who had late birthdays that started Kindergarten at 4. 3 of them are doing Kindergarten again (which is always an option) and 1 moved on to grade one. Your right, it really depends on the child, and what you prefer as a parent. I think either way, he'll do great.

  2. We have the same issue here with our kids too. This is the only advice I will give. In all my years of chatting it up with other moms and talking about our children, I have never heard a mom say she regretted putting her child into Kindergarten earlier, but I have heard LOTS of moms say that they wished they had kept them back.

    I guess, sometimes as parents we are in a rush for our kids to grow up and meet the next 'milestone'. At our house it was right for Evy to start early (although her birthday is only the end of august) but I know plenty of parents who have decided to keep their kids back and I know none of them regret that decision.

    hope this helped you our Missy!!! ;)

  3. Not a mom, but I am a teacher with personal experience, so here are my two cents. My older (by two years) brother has a July birthday, and when we were little my parents decided to wait to put him in kindergarten. This was a wise choice for him because he really wasn't ready for school at that point. I, however, have an October birthday, and my parents put me in early because I was very ready, so my brother and I were only one year apart in school. For us, it worked out really well. In high school, we even took most of the same classes together, though he still graduated a year earlier than I did.

    My parents made their decisions about when to put us in school based on an assessment that the school provided. You might see if your school has something like that available, or else search online for kindergarten readiness tests to help you figure out what's right for Porter.

  4. I put Joey in early partly because he was just ready. He knew his letter sounds and all that. Mostly I did it because he was driving me crazy! He was so bored at home. He's in grade 5 now, and so far, so good. He hasn't had any problems in school.
    Jason's birthday is in October, so he's one of the oldest in his class, and he still struggles in school. So it just depends on the kid. You'll have to decide what's best for Porter, but I don't think there's a clear right or wrong. There are advantages to both. If you start him late he'll have a year to be that much more ready. If you start him early he'll get a year of college or working in before his mission. Good luck!

  5. I think you already know my opinion, I say wait! I just think the better the chance they have at having a successful experience the better. Waiting until he's 5 might ensure that he's more mature and has a positive time at school. I'm very pro holding back, since I was held back and loved being the oldest. Someone else mentioned an assessment from the school and I think that's a great idea. Eden's teacher gave me an article about things your child should be able to do to start kindergarten. I'll send it home with Neil if I see him this weekend! Hope it helps! I hate these kind of decisions!!!

  6. Taylor is the end of August and the cut off out here is September so she "should" have went but we decided to let her stay home another year. It's been working for us. Good luck!

  7. Hailyn has the same type of birthday. I just decided to keep her with the kids her age at church.
    So that way she will be able to be with the same kids at church that she goes to school with

  8. I sent Connor (October birthday) with the assumption that we would do kindergarten twice. As it turned out though, Miss Pati assured me he was ready for Grade 1 when the time came. He has always been in the top of his class academically and really has done great so far. (He wishes he were taller for sports, but I don't think that's happening even if he were a year older). Several people do Miss Pati's twice and a lot do once and then the school kindergarten the next year. She will definitely let you know whether he is ready or not. Jim is also an October birthday and he loved that he got a year of University before his mission.
    Ultimately it depends on the kid and your gut feelings! Good luck :)

  9. Ahhhh!! We are going to have this same dilemma with Parker in a few years! He has a June birthday so we don't know what to do etiher! I'm assuming we will hold him back. I'm not in a rush for him to grow up and want all the time with him I can before he leaves! I also want the boys to be only 1 grade apart. They are inseparable little buddies and if they stay as close as they are I would hate for their friendship to change because of a two-year gap in school, instead of one. Plus, throwing in missions it would make it another year the boys wouldn't see each other during/after missions. Good luck!!! LOL. You figure it out and I'll learn from you!! XOXO

  10. We are in the same position right now. Although with a March birthday my son qualifies by age, he has a few delays, so we were considering holding him back. We've decided to go ahead and enroll him because I"d rather have him repeat kindergarten the following year if he needs to than not even give him a chance. Whatever you decide it will be the right choice for your family.

  11. Well, my older two have late birthdays and we decided to keep them back (so they are the oldest in their grade). I have always heard it is hard on boys to start school so young, so for me having him wait a year was an easy decision. Goodluck, let me know what you decided!

  12. Totally not a mom yet; however, I am from a family of kindergarten teachers (LITERALLY three generations). I also happen to have a late birthday.

    My family of teachers would recommend waiting. Well he may be more than capable academically (which I'm sure he totally is with a mommy like you!!) the social piece can be quite difficult if they're too young. Being the elder child in class is a positive thing, your son can only gain from the situation :)

    ♥ Jessica

  13. I am pro holding back as well. Sophia has a September birthday and we have already decided that we will hold her back so she can be one of the oldest in her grade. Also it's an extra year to get ready.

  14. A friend recommended a book to me about raising boys. I haven't read it yet, but she says the author said that alot of the most "successful"* men in the world have birthdays early in the year. (yeah for you!) This is because they were the oldest in their classes growing up and had confidence...blah blah. So my opinion is to wait.
    *Successful meaning professionals, (i.e. hockey players, business men, etc.) I say that being a successful person is alot more than just your occupation, but you get my point.

  15. I listened to a talk on this years ago. That stats that the lecturer had were astounding. Especially for boys. Because of how the neurons in the brain develop.

    He had studies and charts with stats and in some areas the "late babies" as he called them (because their birthdays were late in the year) in some areas 42 percent had to be held back by grade 3. So either is grade 1 2 or 3 they were held back and those children live all their lives with the idea they flunked a grade, (and so do their school mates)

    They don't hold back anymore so the children struggle all through school.
    Even if they are ready academically they struggle emotionally and socially because they are still immature in those areas.
    His stats also showed that the drop out rate by high school was really high in the late babies, because they struggled so long. They also are at higher risk for drugs and things because by high school they will do anything to fit in socially.
    Like I said his stats were scary.

    This was very apparent in girls also, but more detrimental for boys because they are even more behind that girls at the younger ages.

    After hearing him speak I did my own little study just from people I knew. I was a November baby and my mom held me back. I was at the top of my class all through school.

    My sister in law who had the same birth date I did went early and she struggled all through school and she dropped out of high school.

    I would start asking people I knew for examples and it pretty much was accurate to the studies this lecturer showed us.

    This was a lot of years ago so I don't have the studies anymore but the results were pretty sobering.

    I decided to send one of my sons later on because of the information I had at the time. I figured at least he could blame me for holding him back if that was an issue instead of blaming himself for being "stupid" if he had to be held back or flunked too many subjects by high school.

    Also I have never met any parent or child that has regretted starting later, but I have met quite a few that really regret starting earlier.

    Hope that helps.


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