I have been wanting to post about this all week. I learned a lesson last weekend and I'm grateful I did. We are in Edmonton for the summer and we have a craaaazy schedule while we are here. I don't see much of Neil at all and I am at home with the boys all day, every day, all by myself. We have been attending Neil's brother's ward as it's been nice to see his family every week and get to spend some extra time with them. A couple weeks ago the bishop asked if he could meet with me and I quickly responded that we weren't transferring our memberships and that I had a calling being held for me at home - anything to deter him from giving me a calling here. My thoughts were "well I'm not even in your ward," and "as if I have time to do anything this summer, our schedule is crazy enough," and "I've got enough on my plate right now I don't need a calling on top of it," and "Sunday is the only day I get to spend with Neil and I don't want to do anything but sit with him at church," and many other thoughts of the like. I felt very justified that I was going to say no, regardless of what the calling was, because, well for all the above reasons.
One night while I was waiting for Neil to get home I was reading from the conference Ensign and I read a section in a talk given by Julie B. Beck that said:
"A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence."
Ugh. That was exactly what I was feeling - total entitlement to just sit and take a break for the summer. I didn't need to serve, my home life is crazy and I deserve a rest. NOT. As soon as I read this it was like well Michelle, whatever is asked you will do because you are a capable woman and you have a lot to give. Why should any of us, regardless of our personal situation, take a break from building the kingdom? I met with a councilor in the bishopric and he asked me to be the Primary chorister. If this is where the Lord wants me right now then I will do it. I went on Sunday, having no idea what I was doing, and had so much fun! The ladies in Primary were so kind, the kids were great and I had a wonderful time.
I do not think I am a great example of service by any means, in fact I often find myself being selfish with my time and my family but I am so grateful I learned this lesson as I really do need to work on being an instrument in the Lord's hands and giving more of myself, like I said, regardless of my personal situation at the time.