August 1, 2011

if I had a million dollars

Not unlike you I'm sure, there are just some things I hate doing. Unfortunately they are things that still have to be done. If I had a whole lotta expendable cash I would feel absolutely justified in paying someone to do these tasks:

  • Take my kids to get their shots. Seriously, it's just an awful day. I was able to get Neil to take Porter for all of his but somehow with Rigby the task has landed back in my lap. Not sure how that happened... sneaky husband.
  • Tweeze my eyebrows. There's no way I'd not do it but every time I look in the mirror and see those pesky hairs growing back I resent them. It's a never ending project because there's always a few you somehow missed and by the time you get those the others have started to grow back. It's such a nasty task, I'd happily pay someone to wax or thread (ever had that done - super cool!) them so I didn't have to. Ooooh, but since it must be done, have I told you how much I love my Tweezerman tweezers? I know they are insanely priced but I'm telling you, do yourself a favor - go collect pop bottles if you have to, but purchase yourself a pair. You will never turn back. Do it!  Go. Now!
  • Cook. I know I'm supposed to be a domesticated housewife but if there's one task I could do without it would be cooking. I do it absolutely out of necessity and if it were just me I wouldn't. I could live on cereal and toast and it's not because I don't absolutely love food. I think it's the combination of never having all the right ingredients and messing up my perfectly clean kitchen that puts me off. I'm trying to fix myself.
  • Grate the cheese. It's a dumb job and I pawn it off to Neil whenever I can. Actually thinking of it now, I bet Porter's old enough to do it too.... hmm.
  • Wash my makeup brushes. It's a simple thing but I just don't like doing it. I put it off for as long as possible until I'm applying a rainbow of colors all over my face. Ok, it's not that bad but I do delay it longer than I should. If they were just magically cleaned every week or so I'd be thrilled. 
  • Trim my boy's fingernails and toenails. I don't know if it's just my kids but it's such a fight every time it needs to be done. There's crying and tears and screaming and running away. It's a production. I'd happily shell out a pretty penny for someone to fight that battle for me. 
I know I could add more to the list (folding laundry anyone!?) but I mean, I don't want to get ridiculous here. Paying someone to grate your cheese is a necessity, but there are other things I'm happy to do on my own.
Unless I had two million.....


  1. So funny! I hate grating cheese SO much that I have started buying the grated stuff from Costco. It really isn't that expensive and the convenience is priceless. Fair warning--Its kind of like switching to high speed internet--once you start buying the grated kind--you can never go back!

  2. It's not just your kids. I hate cutting their nails too. I dread it. Can't wait until they can do it themselves.
    Oh, and I love my tweezermans too!

  3. among the worst things ever...grating cheese (man's job for sure), washing makeup brushes (mine are in desperate need of a good washing), and shots (coming up again way too soon!) ugh!! that two million would be nice :)
    I wonder how Lee would react to taking Blaise for her shots, hmm

  4. You definitely got the cheese thing from me! I would make you and Sharon and Lids and your dad and Granny or whomever was in our house do it so that I didn't have to!!! So sooooooorrrrrryyyy!!


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